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Jo-like Girl

[ website | My writings and other art... ]
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(no subject) [Apr. 14th, 2009|09:00 am]
Jo-like Girl
[Tell me now how do I feel? |melancholymelancholy]
[Raping my speakers |Elliott Smith]

"... I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after the people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centrlelight pop and everybody goes 'Awww!'"

I will miss you, Tardis.
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<3 [Jan. 15th, 2009|06:04 pm]
Jo-like Girl
Rest In Peace, Julia.
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(no subject) [Dec. 15th, 2008|12:01 pm]
Jo-like Girl
[Tell me now how do I feel? |awake]
[Raping my speakers |Cut Copy.]


This is my year...Collapse )</div>



And recently. Peaceful.

 

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Take me up, high high above.... [Oct. 6th, 2008|11:21 am]
Jo-like Girl
[Current Location |The mattress near the mannequin.]
[Raping my speakers |"M.E.X.I.C.O" - The Kills]

It's Friday, and my feet are on the ground. I'm steady, stable, headstrong, but counting down the seconds 'til take off. It's the blue that I taste under my tongue. T minus fifteen, and I can feel my back involuntarily arch a little. My stomach feels like a stone has been dropped into it, and it's slowly sinking into the lining, making a home for the next few hours. Legs are tingling, and I clutch onto the arm nearest mine.

"I'm feeling alright..."

I order another drink, sipping and enjoying the slightly metallic, blank taste. Running my fingers down my soft arm, I lick my lips. Not long now. Strap myself in and offer my friends a place. They buy their ticket, take the ride. We're golden and young, we're kissing for fun and we'll never stay too long.

"Fuck."

"Mmm."

"Let's go for a walk?"

We make our exit and walk baby steps down the side streets, only going as fast as the highest heels. The lights catch on my eyelashes and the world shines. I'm god, I'm sin, I'm perfect and completely unstoppable. Pulse pulse pulse, I'm just blood and beauty and tuned in to the voices next to me. We go so slowly, and time is distorted at regular intervals. I'm thinking, I'm thinking about everything, about the people I know and who I want to sit and touch and talk with for the next two hours.

All this innocence, and you would think the night would be the wrong place for it. No, it's just our poorly lit weekend playground. Absorbing everything before the moment dies.

"Things are strange... can we leave?"

We do just that, and barely remember the next leg of the journey, choosing to come to at the door. 

Inside, and I breathe in deep - the air goes straight to the far corners of my brain, the ones I can't/won't/don't dare use in daylight. I'm flying and the music playing next to me is crawling into my ear, grasping on for dear life and begging me to take it on this trip. I see blue and open my eyes wide, drinking it in.

"I just went to another astral plane, but my other self was already up there waiting for me. I had to come back down because I knew that if I didn't, I would be stuck there forever and I would never see you again."

My feet hit the ground with a deafening thud. I close my eyes.



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I need to write something. [Jul. 22nd, 2008|12:38 pm]
Jo-like Girl
[Tags|]
[Tell me now how do I feel? |crappycrappy]

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

I tag: drshley, punkerthanvomit, nollykin, frupachino, cholasthehedge, kif_has_spoken, maltrick and math_shoe.

1. Which celebrity would you like to meet and why?
Dead? Edie Sedgwick, I want to give her hugs and then party with her. Alive? Trent Reznor, it would be nice to sit down for a chat with him and have tea and crumpets.

2. What do you do before bedtime?
Wash my face (most nights, unless I'm drunk/off tap), brush my teeth.

3. What is your favorite thing to do on a cold winter's night?
Watch bad TV. Have a hot shower and jump into bed with someone pretty. Drink searing hot black coffee or chai tea, no milk at all.

4. What is the city of your dreams and why?
Even though it's not a city, probably somewhere like Newtown where I can find incredible clothes, eat delicious food and have a bar within about 10 metres walking distance at all times. It's the type of place where you DON'T feel like a pretentious git drinking a coffee and reading/writing for hours on end. You just feel sort of average.

5. Are you an introvert or extrovert?
Extreme introvert until you get to know me. Once I am comfortable with you, I'm very extroverted. I'm a shy person in general, sometimes I cover it up by joking about myself.

6. What gets you through those hard times?
Making plans. Fixing my hair. Doing a perfect make up. Drawing. Taking a "mental health day" from work. Drinking a coffee. Going on epic walks. Shopping.

7. Do you trust easily?
No. I can feel comfortable with people, but I don't trust unless they're very close to me or we share similar attributes.

8. What are your plans for the future?
Today - sit down with Haley and have proper talks. After that - find work doing make up full time. Get the fuck out of my sales job. Look better. Use my brain for the first time in about five years.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
My body, my job, and how helpless and depressed I feel because of them.

10. Do you have a good body-image?
See above - no. I feel ok at my safe weight, but if I go over that I go into meltdown mode. It happened this week and made me realise that I'm not quite equipped to deal with some things, no matter how well I think I'm going. A couple of years ago I was on track to feeling good about myself. I was bigger, but I felt pretty sometimes and didn't really care how much I weighed.

11. Is being tagged fun?
I wasn't, I stole this ;)

13. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Shlee, Dubs, Haley (Otter!! :D).

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
I stole it from dizzy_jezz. If I had to describe her.. I'd say serene, witty (oh my god your Seek post nearly made me fall over from laughter), and mysterious (but that could be because I don't see you very often!).

15. What’s the last song that got stuck in your head?
That fischerspooner song because I was watching Lasagna Cat.

16. What’s your favorite item of clothing?
My cherry dress, my leopard coat, my new zipper boots :D, my skirt with suspenders, my dark red dress that Shlee bought me and my midnight blue party dress.

17. What's better: to give or to receive?
My rule of thumb - give what I can and what feels natural. I receive the same sort of thing from others.

18. What's the first thing you notice in people?
It sounds awful and lame and completely hippy-ish, but whether or not I get a good vibe from them. After that come the superficial things (which, whether I like it or not, probably influence the vibe I get from people). I notice facial characteristics more since studying make up.

19. Would you have 100% safe sex with a stranger for $10,000,000?
I'd need more information on the circumstances.

20. How often do you eat dinner out a week?
I rarely eat dinner.

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(no subject) [Apr. 6th, 2008|08:47 pm]
Jo-like Girl
Again, thoughts:

- This essay doesn't have to be a masterpiece. It's just about communication in the makeup industry. But damned if it's not going to be the best job I can do on it right now.

- No Country for Old Men is freaking awesome. Javier Bardem is the creepiest mofo ever. He's so pale, pale like me. We would be twins, but he is about 7 feet tall and prefers denim jackets to dresses. I still prefer "There Will Be Blood", though.

- It is very difficult to find black makeup/hairdressing capes. Anyone know where I can locate these bad boys?

- I hope this Monday means a new start.

- Shlee is too good for me.
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Bob Log: Ruining your relationship since 2007. [Feb. 29th, 2008|08:17 pm]
Jo-like Girl
[Current Location |Shlee's.]
[Raping my speakers |Mindless Self-Indulgence (thinking of going to Soundwave tomorrow just for them)]

So. A post. WOAH. WOWSERS.

I'm alone in this house tonight. I didn't feel like going out, I have a splitting headache. I don't feel like drinking, I'm cutting down on drugs, and I don't want to go out sober. So here I am.

Shlee is at Bob Log tonight. For those who are not familiar, he's the man who instructs you to get your tits out and put them in scotch (ref. "Boob Scotch"). Bob Log and I have a history together. He doesn't know it yet, but he ruins relationships. I plan to hunt this man down and tell him this one day. But, y'know. Not tonight. I don't think I could do it sober.

The drama started in June last year. Shlee and I had been having some "Iss-ews". I decided that a night in with him would be a really nice way to start patching things up, so I made the 45 minute trip into town to see him. We met up and he told me he wanted to go out. I got annoyed, I had already told him that I just wanted it to be a night in with the two of us. After about 5 minutes of debate, he agreed, and we decided to head back to his. He then received a perfectly timed phone call - someone telling him that Bob Log was on that night. $10 at Jive. Shlee told me this, and said "he won't be coming back for a while" I said "yes, he will" (LOLZ HE IS BACK HERE 7 MONTHS LATER U SILLY I AM RITE). I told him in a few more words that it was "him or me".

I must be fairly shit. He chose Bob Log. I broke up with Shlee the next day. We got back together a week later, but I am still bitter.

I really don't fucking understand what's great about Bob Log. Oh yar, I get the novelty and all. But if I wanted novelty I would sit on youtube and watch the Bollywood recreation of Thiller. Incidentally,

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TtJRNyPK-lc

OH MY GOD that shit is funny.

I still maintain that the Wii also ruins relationships. Ugh.

I apologise for this angry, angry entry. I am grumpy, and lately I am not really sure what to do with myself. If I was honest/wrote LJ entries that meant something then maybe that would help.

I am really, really shit at acknowledging what is going on.

Really.
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End of year entry. You knew it was coming. [Dec. 31st, 2007|03:45 am]
Jo-like Girl
[Tell me now how do I feel? |contemplativecontemplative]
[Raping my speakers |Nada.]

Last year ended with self-assurance. I was confident in my identity, the path I planned to take in life, and the steps I needed to take to get there.

Things went a little haywire this year and I wasn't able to maintain that all the time. Winter of this year ranks up there with the most difficult parts of my life I have had to face (why do I always relapse in winter?). Spring brought more difficulties, but I was tough and got through them, albeit slightly unsettled.

But I'm still here. I'm still breathing. I haven't completely lost control, and whenever I DID lose control, those things lead to better things.

Here are some things I did this year that made it very special

- Learned that it is completely futile putting a label on myself. Putting restrictions on myself never works either. I have relaxed a little about some things.

- Met some incredible people and got to live with them for a few months. The bat cave will live on in our hearts!

- Saw some pretty amazing bands. In chronological order - Tool, The Presets (twice), Peaches, The Butterfly Effect, Gomez, Nine Inch Nails, The Cure, Marilyn Manson, Muse, Daft Punk. OH, and the trips to Melbourne for NIN and Daft Punk will always remain in my mind.

- Held down a full time job while adjusting to new medication, and even won the sales tally last month.

- Went out a lot more, and I now have work buddies to drink with.

- Got rid of all my hair!!!!!

- Most importantly, I fell gut-wrenchingly, head over heels in love. You all know who I am talking about :)



Here are my wishes for next year:

- To be happy in love.

- To see my friends more often! I am sorry I have been terrible at catching up with you all (except on Saturday nights, which don't count as much) but next year I am going to try and fix that.

- To write, draw and read more.

- For all of YOU to be happy.


I have evolved a little bit this year. Just a little bit. Appearance-wise, here is a comparison.



You can't change yourself overnight. You can't force yourself to do it. You can't make the rules and expect to stick with them if it's restricting aspects of your lifestyle you're not ready to let go of yet. Feel the flow. Evolve. Look back in satisfaction when you can give a big "fuck you" to all the things that have been dragging you down.

2007, you have been a rollercoaster ride of a year.

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(no subject) [Dec. 19th, 2007|07:08 pm]
Jo-like Girl
What is your favourite memory of me?
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Daft Punk. The Presets. Dumplings. Interweb friends. Gambling. [Dec. 17th, 2007|06:58 pm]
Jo-like Girl
[Tell me now how do I feel? |lonelylonely]
[Raping my speakers |None.]

MELBOURNE.



An end of year post coming soon. Watch for it. It's important.


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